Minor Thing
by Bonehead XL
Summary: Your typical boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girls an alien, girl tries to kill boy, boy loses girl, boy marries other girl, girl comes back, story.


**Minor Thing**

By Bonehead XL

---

I don't own shit... Would be a pretty crappy disclaimer, so I'll specify. I don't own FLCL or any relating characters. Gainex does. I probably don't even own this idea, I'm sure that many other people have used it all ready, but it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down, so get over it, I'm not stealing your ideas.

Hmm... Anyway, on with the show!

---

Naota stared at the old photograph. It seemed like so many years ago now. He smiled as he looked over the familiar figure, which re-awoke familiar memories. Memories of her. Memories of how she looked, how she made him feel. Memories of that smirk she would give him that always seemed to go right through him. Memories of how no matter what she did he couldn't hate her. Simple memories.

He slowly placed the photo back in the slide and slowly placed that slide back into the filing cabinet. He then walked out of that house and left those memories behind.

Forever.

---

Ninamori slowly pressed her lips against Naota's. The priest looked on and smiled. Some people in the audience cheered, other's simply said silent prays, a few where weeping. The two marched down the chapel hall, officially man and wife.

Ninamori smiled at him the whole time. Naota noticed her smile as the two jumped into the car and the driver sped off.

"What are you smiling about?" Naota said warmly.

"What do you think? I'm smiling at you. I mean, we're married!" Ninamori was practically jumping out of her seat.

Naota couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "Yeah, I guess we are." Naota smiled as he held his bride close.

Bride, he thought, that sounded nice.

---

Mamimi lit up her cigarette. The man behind the desk infront of her glared at the smoke rising to the ceiling.

"What are you doing?" The man asked.

Mamimi looked at him like he was the dumbest man alive and said, quite astutely, "Smoking. What the hell does it look like I'm doing?"

The man grunted. "I don't like smoke."

"And I don't like working for you. Looks like we're both stuck in a crap stituion."

The man rubbed his head, feeling a headache coming on. "What photos do you have for me, Mamimi?"

Mamimi yanked a series of photos out of her bags and tossed them onto the man's desk. He eyed them and asked, "What is it?"

Mamimi took a hard drag off her cig. "Don't know. Neither does the local astrologist. He says it could be a starburst, but he can't really tell."

"Weird… Well, Mamimi, you may be a pain in the ass, but you're a damn fine photographer. Good job. You'll have to stop by in the morning for the paycheck, being as we close at 6:00."

"Six?" Mamimi eyed the clock on the wall. "Damn," She muttered, "I missed Taku's wedding."

The man looked up from the photos. "Taku?"

Mamimi put out her cigarette, grabbed her bag and headed for the door. "Ex-boyfriend. Haven't seen in the longest time. I'll have to stop by soon." Mamimi walked out.

---

Naota held Ninamori close to him, both of their bodies coated in sweat. The rhythm of their lovemaking slowly came to a stop. Ninamori fell back onto the mattress, breathing heavily and smiling. Naota looked down at her, looking at how happy she was, how beautiful she was, how heavenly this whole scene was, and he started to weep.

"What's wrong?" Ninamori noticed.

Naota snuffled and hugged her tightly. "I love you so much." Ninamori was touched on some sweet level.

The honeymoon wasn't over just yet.

---

"What's the tab?"

"Thirty-five."

"Damn…" Mamimi searched her pocket book for the required amount of cash as the cab driver glared at her. She sighed as her quest held no fruit.

"Um, do you take credit cards?"

The cabbie was not amused.

---

Naota opened his eyes as the sun flittered its way through the window blinds. Ninamori stood nearby, wearing her robe, fiddling with the controls. The level of light in the room went up and down as she continued to have issues with the control rod.

"It's fine, you can leave it there, unless you're signaling some high-tech secret agent in the next building." Naota said with a yawn.

Ninamori looked over at her newly acquired husband as he sat up in bed, gave her a sweet smile, and then slumped back down into bed. Ninamori ran over and jump on top of him, a smile tugging at her cheek as well.

"Good morning…" She spoke.

Naota gave her a short kiss on the cheek.

"Morning to you to. Sleep well?" Naota asked as he pulled her closer to him.

"The best sleep I've gotten in ages. I think it was because you held me all night."

She kissed him back. This time the kiss was a long, drawn out, passionate experience. Naoto's hands slowly found there way down to the belt of Ninamori's robe. She slapped his hand away and gave him a mischievous grin.

"Not now. I ordered breakfast, it should be here in a few minutes. Maybe later."

Naota let out a half sigh, half yawn and continued to smile at Ninamori. "I don't think you understand what a honeymoon is suppose to be." Both laughed.

Ninamori snuggled up to him. "Just hold me."

Naota closed his eyes. "I can do that."

And so, they just laid there, both of them very content.

---

"Hey, Kamon? Long time no hear, I've got to talk to Naota. It's kinda' urgent."

"He's not there? Oh… On his honeymoon? Right, I should've known that. Well, can you tell me when he'll be back?"

"The fifth? All right. Thanks. Bye-bye." Mamimi slammed the phone back down onto the receiver.

"Shit," she thought out loud, "I hope I get to him first." Mamimi lit up another cigarette. "This is not going to be a good day." She thought to herself. A loud banging sound filled the phone booth. She looked over to see a man in a suit banging on the door and motioning to his watch. Mamimi let out an indigent grunt and opened the door.

"I'm busy!" She shouted at him. She then slammed the door shut and absent-mindedly blew out a cloud of smoke. The responding cloud flew back into her face and sent her into a coughing fit. After she was done she opened the door and step out.

"Take your damn booth." She cursed to the man as she walked away. She then saw the cab still waiting on the corner. "Oh, shit…" She was right, this wasn't going to be a good day.

---

The fifth arrived. The honeymoon was over and Naota had to get back to work, seeing as how he had a wife to support now. He sat down at his chair and begrudgingly got to work on the brand-new pile of paperwork that had accumulated on his desk.

Time passed and the pile grew smaller as another formed. The hour hand slowly, ever so slowly, crept its way across the clock's face. The day seemed to drag by with all the exuberance of a snail.

Sometime around six o'clock something happened.

"Naota, some chick is here to see you." Kari, the plucky office assistant, said as he stuck his head into Naota's office.

"Some chick?" Naota's head looked up from the evil paperwork.

"Yeah, ya' know…" Was the only further explanation Kari gave.

Naota got up and walked out to the waiting room. He saw a young lady sitting in a chair reading a magazine.

"Miss, did you call for me?"

The lady looked up from her captivating reading material. "Um, no."

"Huh…"

Naota walked out into the street. He thinks he saw something, but he wasn't sure. Then, there was a sound and the feeling of hard plastic on his head, and then all the world was black.

"bleergh…."

---

Ninamori sat in her chair, her eyes bloodshot, her hair a mess, her teacup clenched in her hands. Naota was suppose to be home an hour ago, and he was always on time. She and Naota where going to go to a nice restaurant and spent the rest of the evening by themselves. …but Naota wasn't there. That was a problem.

About twenty minutes ago, a girl named Mamimi appeared at the house. This girl had made numerous, and mostly unsuccessful, attempts to seduce Ninamori's current husband many years ago. Mamimi had disappeared years ago and now she was, here, sitting on their brand-new couch, sipping tea and chatting like this was a fucking everyday occurrence.

"What are you doing here?" Ninamori croaked. She was under a lot of stress, to say the least.

Mamimi looked up from her tea and said, "I told you, I'm want to talk to your husband." Mamimi said.

Ninamori clear her throat. "His not here."

Mamimi coughed. "Yeah, I noticed that."

A small bit of cynicism found it's way into Ninamori's speech. "You can come back latter, ya' know."

Mamimi locked eyes with Ninamori. "It was a hard trip here and it's kinda' urgent."

Ninamori's eyebrow rose, oh, so swiftly. "Urgent?"

Mamimi dropped the angry bit. "I think he might be in danger."

Ninamori dropped her tea. "Um, I gotta' go do something…"

Ninamori vanished from the room. Mamimi didn't budge. She could hear the sound of Ninamori whispering to herself in another room. She could only barely make out the speech, but it didn't sound like anything good was going on. A few minutes later, Ninamori remerged into reality, wearing her glasses and caring a backpack.

Ninamori seemed to know what was going on. Mamimi smiled.

"You ready?"

"Yes."

"Good. Let's kick-ass."

---

Meanwhile at work, Kari poked his head into Naota's office. He noticed that Naota was not present. Kari snickered and ran into the office and quickly ran back out with Naota's coffee.

---

Naota's eyes opened to the sight of a hotel ceiling. A ceiling fan spun there. Oh, how it spun. It spun like a madman. It was the spin-iest fan in the whole damn town. The fan spun like a bitch.

But that's really besides the point.

Naota could hear music playing and could smell the distinct smell of other people. He felt around his surroundings and deducted, like a good little Sherlock, that he was on a bed.

He then looked up and saw………………

Her.

Oh, shit.

---

Ninamori and Mamimi crowded themselves into the small, blue vehicle. Either where real sure were they where going, but both did have an objective. Both had to save Naota, a man both had strong feelings for. Both where willing to do just about anything to meet above stated objective. They both felt they had no choice.

---

Naota ran for the door. He clamed his hands around the knob just as the Mystery Girl showed up to stop him. (Hint 1: Mystery Girl is Haruko)

"Come on, Naota, why run?" Mystery Girl stated. (Hint 2: Mystery Girl is Haruko)

"What the _fuck _is your problem?" Naota fired back.

"Well, that was not the response I expected." Mystery Girl was disappointed. (Final Hint For The Slow Thinkers: Mystery Girl is Haruko)

Naota gave up his defensive stint at the doorknob. He then started to vent. "You can't do this. You can't go away from this and then just come back years later and expected everything to be the same. You can't just leave and run off and make me try to forget you and then drag your ass back here. I grew up because of you. I became a good person because you weren't there to fuck it up! But now your back! Just, with no explanation! I'm angry with you! Really fucking angry!" Naota stopped a moment to breath.

Haruko looked at him with, well you know, that _look_.

Naota melted.

"You've grown up. You know, I half expected to find the same twelve-year-old boy I had left. Same baseball hat, same smile, same eyebrows. But nope, now it's all that, but in a suit."

Naota's voice was considerably softer now. "I'm angry at you."

"It's because I left isn't it? It's okay. I understand."

Any part of Naota remaining un-melted was now thoroughly liquefied.

Damn, she was still beautiful.

---

"So, he just disappeared?" Ninamori and Mamimi where questioned poor office shmoe Kari.

"Yeah, some girl asked to see him and he ran off, I guess. I don't know really know. Are you two his sisters or something?" Kari was only a little befuddled by this strangely police-like situation.

"Wife."

"Friend."

"Oh…" Kari reflected upon what he just said. "**Oh**! That's not good."

Mamimi kept a professional stance, Ninamori was nearly in tears.

The more stable of the two asked, "Was there anything strange about this girl?"

Kari scratched his head and thought. "She wore goggles."

Ninamori's head snapped to attention. "Goggles?"

Kari reiterated. "Goggles."

Ninamori and Mamimi gave each other knowing glances and said in unison. "Goggles."

Horrible word, goggles.

---

"I'm married now, ya' know."

"Wow! Who's the lucky girl?"

"Ninamori."

"Good choice."

Any hostility that might have occupied this situation had evaporated. Naota and Haruko where now shearing a clam meal of Ramen.

"So, any rip-roaring space adventures from the Haruko files?" Naota ate his Ramen in steady gulps.

"Afraid not." Haruko slurped her Ramen.

"You didn't seduce any other twelve year old boys on other planets, did you?" More steady gulps.

"Can't say I have. Unless I got really drunk and didn't know about it." More slurping ensued.

"I think that be something you'd remember. The boy would never forget that's for sure." Naota reached the bottom of his Styrofoam cup.

"It's good to know I wasn't forgotten."

Naota broke into tears. Haruko patted him on the shoulder.

Patting turned to hugging.

Hugging turned to touching.

Touching turned to groping.

Groping turned to kissing.

Kissing turned to necking.

Necking turned to licking.

Licking turned to the removal of clothing.

That turned to thrusting.

Thrusting turned to grinding.

Grinding turned to screaming.

Screaming turned to climax.

A thousand swear words would of flown through his head had this been any other woman. Sounds of doubt would have flown through his head had this been any other woman. Rational thought might of flown through his head has this been any other woman. But no, this was Haruko. Nothing else matter.

Nothing…

Fuck…

---

"Yeah, I saw a girl like that pass by a while back. It was real strange. She had him tied up and everything." The small stand owner wasn't quite sure what he had gotten himself into when he decided to answer these two strange women's questions.

Ninamori jumped out of her seat at this. "She had him tied up? That sadistic bitch! If she lays one hand on him, I swear, I'll…"

Mamimi was the voice of reason. "Ninamori! Calm down!"

"Oh, right, public place. Sorry." Ninamori sat back down.

"Thank you, sir, for your help. We greatly appreciate it." The two left and went back to their cramped car and drove off as the sun started to set.

The shop owner rubbed his head. "What a freak show…"

---

Naota found himself staring at the ceiling again. The ceiling fan was still there and still spinning the hell out of the environment. But this time, he wasn't even fully clothed. This time he was nude and lying next to the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on.

"I can't believe this," escaped Naota's lips.

"Gee, Naota, the sex wasn't that good was it?" Haruko seemed genuinely interested in her performance.

"Nearly a month ago I was holding another woman just like I'm holding you now, and just like now, I was telling that woman how much I cared for her. I can't believe this. Guys really are full of shit."

Haruko smiled at him. "I can overlook that."

Naota ignored her. "And you know the worst thing about it. I don't miss her at all."

Naota faced Haruko and slowly caressed her cheek.

"Why'd you come back?" He asked.

"To find something I couldn't find out there. Something I left behind."

They looked each other in the eyes; the warmth and silence penetrated them to the very bone. Naota felt the warmth. God, it was so warm it burned.

"I've got to go." Naota's sense of self-doubt showed it's ugly head again.

"Please, stay."

"Okay."

---

At the three-week mark, Ninamori and Mamimi gave up and left it to the police.

At the three-week mark, Naota and Haruko had already seen half of the island.

At the seven-week mark, Mamimi went home. Ninamori hadn't had a good night's sleep since he left.

At the seven-week mark, Naota and Haruko had eaten at all but two of every sushi restaurant in Japan.

At the twelve-week mark, Ninamori moved back in with her parents and gave up all hope.

---

It was daylight and sometime in the near future. Haruko and Naota sat in a sushi bar at the outskirts of the island. They where quietly munching on their raw fish. Not doing much else. The maki was really good.

Naota realized something why chewing his food. Ninamori had been left alone for how long now? He couldn't remember. God, he felt like Faust. Not knowing how much time had past in-between the cheap thrills and the love.

Love. Huh, who would've guessed?

"Is the fish good?" Haruko was oblivious to the deep thoughts the fish had generated.

"The fish is excellent." Naota placed his chopsticks down on the table. "Best damn fish I've ever had."

"Oh, gee. I didn't think it was that good…" Naota got up and left the table. He walked away. Haruko stood up as well. "Naota! Were are you going?"

"Going to steal your bike."

"What?"

Haruko followed him out of the restaurant, where indeed he was snapping on her goggle and revving up the Vespa.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"I don't know. When I get there, I'll know."

A soft breeze started to blow, Haruko's spirit sank.

"Am I coming?" Tears were welling up in her eyes.

"No."

Those tears started to fall. "I didn't think I was. Ya' know, I knew it wouldn't last forever, but I think I kinda' hoped it would."

Another long pause.

"Are you ever coming back?" She spoke again, the tears never stopped.

"Maybe in twenty years when you've married the perfect guy and are well on your way to living happily ever after."

He drove off leaving her standing in a cloud of dust, crying her heart out.

---

She didn't take him back, because he left, but it was okay. He understood.

_Fin_


End file.
